The May Firm

The New York Times ran an article on February 13, 2008, about the increasing controversy over religion in custody cases. See article here. Increasingly, people of different religions marry and divorce, then disagree over which religion(s) to introduce to the children. Or, tensions can emerge when one parent becomes more fundamentalist in their faith than previously.

As a general rule, a judge will not — and probably cannot — pick one religion over another as preferable. The constitutional freedom of religion that we here in American experience also carries over to custody cases. A judge may decide whether either or both parents have the right to make decisions about the child’s religion while the child is in that parent’s care. Usually, a parent may address religion or religious beliefs with the child while the child is with them during parenting time. But, short of finding some harm to the child from the parent’s religion or beliefs, a judge will probably stay out of the fray.

Tags: Divorce, Child Possession, Children's Issues by Michelle
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In my previous post, I discussed the difficulty in gauging a win or loss in divorce. Most people feel that there are never any winners in any divorce and mostly everyone loses, no matter the outcome. But, there are some ways to make any divorce a little easier.

Approach the divorce from a logical perspective.

It is often the emotion — hurt feeling and unmet expectations — that cause people to have difficult and messy divorces. Obviously, some divorces have issues that must be fleshed out and will be messy out of necessity. But other divorces can be made much easier if both parties can set their emotions aside and approach the issues involved in accomplishing the divorce from a logical perspective. Separate the causes of the divorce — who did what that made the divorce happen — from the issues such as division of property or sharing parenting responsiblities.

Shift your perspective from one of spouses to one of business partners.

You may no longer be able to have a loving, married relationship, but, if you have children, you will continue to be partners well into the future. After the marriage ends, approach your relationship with your ex-spouse as if you were in the business of raising children. Ignore things that do not directly relate to that business and focus on the task at hand. There will be many issues that need your cooperation, from discipline, dating and driving, to report cards, curfews, and colleges.

Educate yourself on your assets and debts.

Knowledge is empowering. No matter whether your marital estate is small or large, negative or positive, knowing the nature of your assets and debts will help you make smart decisions about a fair division. Each spouse may have different interests in what property and debts they have after the divorce. One spouse may value retirement assets more highly, where the other spouse may want disposable cash assets now. One spouse may be more interested in maintaining the house, and the other spouse may be more interested in taking a business interest.

Look at the divorce from the other spouse’s perspectivie.

Evaluate what interests your spouse may have in the divorce. Seeing things from a different perspective can provide a broader insight to creative solutions. Often, by seeing things through the other spouse’s eyes, you find that both have the same ultimate goal. Maybe both share a common goal of providing for the children’s college education — this can provide common ground for negotiation.

For assistance with your divorce in North Texas – Dallas, Collin, Denton, and Tarrant Counties — call The May Firm and schedule an appointment to discuss how we may be of assistance to you.

Tags: Divorce, Clients, Divorce Settlement, Divorce Recovery, Financial Planning by Michelle
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Sometimes people ask a family lawyer, “how many cases have you won and lost?” For many reasons, most family lawyers don’t and shouldn’t keep win/loss records.

First, we don’t determine the facts of the case. Our clients make decisions in their lives that affect our ability for success in their case. Also, success is neither easily defined nor the same in each case. For one client, getting a fair amount of child support set defines success. For another client, sole managing conservatorship might be a must-win. Lastly, in my opinion, keeping win/loss records on matters involving people, often children, and their relationships is tactless and insensitive.

Lawyers’ ethics rules prevent representations that past results are indicative of future success. Thus, it would be even unethical for a lawyer to imply that his or her past record in other cases would, somehow, indicate that he or she would be successful in the client’s particular circumstance.

Although it is understandable that a client would want as much information about the lawyer being hired, there are other, more relevant inquiries. For advice criteria to look at in choosing the right lawyer, see my article “How To Pick A Lawyer” here.

Tags: Qualifications Of A Lawyer, Ethics for Lawyers by Michelle
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The Family Law Section of the State Bar of Texas featured my article on “Family Law Appeals Distinguished” in the Winter 2007 newsletter. ( Michelle May O’Neil article on Family Law Appeals) The article discusses the differences in the standard of review on appeal in family law cases as opposed to civil cases in general. Family law cases differ from civil cases in that most of the issues tried in family law cases are tried to the Judge, without a jury trial. Some family law cases have a few issues tried to a jury and other issues tried to the Judge. When a Judge decides an issue, the standard for reviewing that decision on appeal is “abuse of discretion”. In other types of civil cases, most final issues are tried to a jury, where the standard of review addresses the jury’s consideration of the evidence. My article discusses in depth this issue.

I also wrote a comment on the new law pertaining to appeals of Associate Judges’ recommendations and the associated deadlines, which appears in the Newsletter. The old law, which still applies to any case pending on September 1, 2007, requires notice of the desire to appeal the Associate Judges’ recommnedation be filed 3 days (not business days) after the hearing. The new law, which applies to new cases filed after September 1, 2007, allows 7 business days to file the notice. Many lawyers have contacted me wanting clarification of the statute, confused about the application to cases that were pending on September 1, 2007. So, I wrote a comment for the newsletter to hopefully help many lawyers out there keep from filing the notice late. (Michelle May O’Neil article on Family Law Appeals)

If you need the help of a divorce attorney in the Dallas or Collin County areas (Dallas, Addison, Plano, Frisco, Allen, McKinney, etc.) to assist you with your divorce or family law appeal, please contact Michelle May O’Neil at The May Firm for an appointment.

Tags: Appellate Law, Qualifications Of A Lawyer, Media Features by Michelle
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Kanye West, Hip Hop superstar and Grammy winner, gives advice to people wanting to get married: “If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup, WE WANT PRENUP! Yeaah! It’s something that you need to have…” (From “Gold Digger” off of the Late Registration album (Roc-A-Fella/Def Jam 2005)) In other words, he recommends that everyone should get a prenup before getting married.

Jessica Simpson didn’t listen to this advice when she married Nick Lachey without a prenup.

But, Britney Spears did heed the warning. Apparently Britney even staged a fake wedding because Federline hadn’t signed the prenup in time. Britney’s prenup gave K-Fed $250,000 for each year of the marriage, which is rumored to have been increased to $500,000 per year during settlement negotiations.

Some celebrity prenups go far beyond the standard identification of assets owned before the marriage and what each party leaves the marriage with, including clauses like:

* Limiting the wife’s weight to 120 pounds or she must relinquish $100,000 of her separate property.

* Allowing a spouse to perform random drug tests, with financial penalties for positive results.

* Requiring a husband to pay $10,000 each time he is rude to his wife’s parents.

Infidelity clauses are common, where a spouse gets paid if the other is unfaithful. Michael Douglas agreed to pay Catherine Zeta-Jones millions should he stray, and Denise Richards made similar requirements of Charlie Sheen.

Custody of pets is another common concern, especially since most divorce courts will treat the pets like an item of property.

However, prenups are important for almost everyone planning to get married, regardless of celebrity status. A prenup can be as simple as defining who has what at the time of the marriage. It can also address how property acquired during the marriage will be treated upon divorce, which spouse will be responsible for payment of the marital obligations, and how the property will be distributed upon death of one of the spouses.

For assistance with a prenup or marital property agreement, please contact The May Firm for an appointment. But, don’t wait until the last minute, as prenups require plenty of planning and discussion.

Tags: Divorce, Property Division, Divorce Settlement, Financial Planning, Prenuptial Agreements by Michelle
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I have been honored to be featured in the Texas Bar Journal February 2008 edition Technology column. To see the article, click here. I have also been listed at the Texas Bar’s list of attorney blogs. See that website here.

If you are in need of a Texas Board Certified Family Law attorney, please contact us.

Tags: Qualifications Of A Lawyer, Media Features, Legal Technology, Lawyer Blogs by Michelle
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I frequently speak and write for seminars that provide continuing education credits for judges, lawyers, and paralegals. My practice is unique in that I not only represent clients in divorce cases before the trial court, but I also represent clients on appeals to the Texas Courts of Appeals and the Texas Supreme Court once their cases are concluded at the trial level. There are only a handful of lawyers in the Dallas area that routinely handle family law appellate matters. I believe that I have a unique perspective on handling client’s matters before the trial court because I see a broader view of a case, not only as a trial lawyer, but only what could happen on appeal. I also think my litigation experience before the trial court gives me a better perspective on my appellate practice.

As a result, other divorce lawyers frequently hire me to assist with cases at the trial court level with an eye toward appeal. For example, I have been hired to handle a specific legal issue that will almost certainly be appealed at the conclusion of the case. Or, I have been handled to act as second chair at trial to generally assist the lead attorney in preserving error for appeal.

I presented a seminar for the University of Houston Continuing Legal Education seminar for judges, lawyers, and paralegals called Protecting Your Client’s Case For Appeal. Click here to download the article. Here’s a audio recording of my introduction to the prepsentation — click here. (I apologize for the quality of the recording and the background scratchy noise.)

Tags: Appellate Law, Qualifications Of A Lawyer by Michelle
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I’ve written recently on the very important topic of children’s issues in a divorce. Recently, I was pointed to another version of a children’s bill of rights located at DivorceHQ. Remember that this isn’t a “law”, but only guidelines for putting the children first.

We the children of the divorcing parents, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish these Bill Of Rights for all children.

1. The right not to be asked to “choose sides” or be put in a situation where I would have to take sides between my parents.

2. The right to be treated as a person and not as a pawn, possession or a negotiating chip.

3. The right to freely and privately communicate with both parents.

4. The right not to be asked questions by one parent about the other.

5. The right not to be a messenger.

6. The right to express my feelings.

7. The right to adequate visitation with the non-custodial parent which will best serve my needs and wishes.

8. The right to love and have a relationship with both parents without being made to feel guilty.

9. The right not to hear either parent say anything bad about the other.

10. The right to the same educational opportunities and economic support that I would have had if my parents did not divorce.

11. The right to have what is in my best interest protected at all times.

12. The right to maintain my status as a child and not to take on adult responsibilities for the sake of the parent’s well being.

13. The right to request my parents seek appropriate emotional and social support when needed.

14. The right to expect consistent parenting at a time when little in my life seems constant or secure.

15. The right to expect healthy relationship modeling, despite the recent events.

16. The right to expect the utmost support when taking the time and steps needed to secure a healthy adjustment to the current situation.

If you are in need of a Dallas Divorce Lawyer who will help you put your children first, please contact us for an appointment.

Tags: General, Divorce, Children's Issues, Divorce Recovery, Health & Wellbeing by Michelle
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Sometimes one spouse decides the marriage is over before the other spouse accepts the new reality. I find that the attorney acts as a counselor as much as a legal advisor in discussing the break up of the marriage with a client who has not yet accepted the reality of the divorce. Often spouses want to attempt reconciliation instead of getting a divorce. As I have said in previous posts, I always encourage my clients to explore every possibility of reconciliation. However, at some point I also encourage my clients to accept reality that it is just time to move on. People, for whatever reason, often find it difficult to just bluntly state how they feel, resulting in mixed messages — I just can’t decide if I want to reconcile may, in fact, really mean I don’t want to reconcile but I’m too much of a coward to just come right out and say that. I encourage my single friends to read He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt (see excerpt here). Although the content may not be as applicable for married people looking at divorce, the overall message is the same. We deserve to have someone in our life that wants to be there, not someone who says “I might want you if you changed” (or insert other excuse here). After all, as Behrendt sensibly puts it, “if a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way.” Oprah even made it one of her chosen books. To purchase the book from Amazon.com, click here. (No I don’t get anything from recommending this book… just my own personal viewpoint.)

Tags: General, Divorce, Reconciliation, Divorce Recovery, Health & Wellbeing by Michelle
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What does it mean when a lawyer says he or she is ”Board Certified”?  Does it matter?

Board Certification is a voluntary designation program for attorneys and paralegals by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization.  To become Board Certified in a particular area, an attorney must have:

• Been licensed to practice law for at least five years,
• Devoted a required percentage of practice to a specialty area for at least three years,
• Handled a wide variety of matters in the area to demonstrate experience and involvement,
• Been evaluated by fellow lawyers and judges, and
• Passed a six-hour written examination

The initial certification is valid for a period of five years, with recertification every five years thereafter.  There are 18 areas of law in which an attorney may be certified in Texas.

Board certified family law specialists have participated in the contested trial of cases involving matters such as divorce, property division, child custody, child support, adoption, paterniety, or other matrimonial matters.  There are only 712 attorneys in the entire state of Texas who have achieved board certification in family law. To download a brochure about Family Law Board Certified Attorneys, click here.

While there are many fine attorneys who practice their entire careers without becoming board certified, there are potential advantages to the client who chooses to retain a board certified attorney.  For example, the client may be assured that the attorney has already demonstrated experience and involvement in Texas family law.  Also, because of that experience and involvement, the board certified attorney may be able to handle complex issues more efficiently than another attorney, saving the client time, aggravation, and money.

Dallas Divorce Attorney Michelle May O’Neil became a board certified family law specialist in 1997, at the first available opportunity in her career. Please contact us if you would like to discuss further how a board certified family law specialist can benefit your case.

Tags: Qualifications Of A Lawyer, Board Certification by Michelle
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