How do I know when its really over?
Sometimes one spouse decides the marriage is over before the other spouse accepts the new reality. I find that the attorney acts as a counselor as much as a legal advisor in discussing the break up of the marriage with a client who has not yet accepted the reality of the divorce. Often spouses want to attempt reconciliation instead of getting a divorce. As I have said in previous posts, I always encourage my clients to explore every possibility of reconciliation. However, at some point I also encourage my clients to accept reality that it is just time to move on. People, for whatever reason, often find it difficult to just bluntly state how they feel, resulting in mixed messages — I just can’t decide if I want to reconcile may, in fact, really mean I don’t want to reconcile but I’m too much of a coward to just come right out and say that. I encourage my single friends to read He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt (see excerpt here). Although the content may not be as applicable for married people looking at divorce, the overall message is the same. We deserve to have someone in our life that wants to be there, not someone who says “I might want you if you changed” (or insert other excuse here). After all, as Behrendt sensibly puts it, “if a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way.” Oprah even made it one of her chosen books. To purchase the book from Amazon.com, click here. (No I don’t get anything from recommending this book… just my own personal viewpoint.)
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