The May Firm

I always enjoy getting a note from a client after I’ve finished their case, indicating they were happy with what we accomplished for them.  Here’s one I received today from A.C.:

The May Firm goes above and beyond with their support and Team effort in such a tremendous time of upheaval in one’s life.  Michelle May O’Neil has a very strong grip on interpreting the law.  She advocates for her client to receive a just, fair outcome without stooping to a level of mud-slinging or degrading the other side.  Her presence in the courtroom is one of strength and skill.  She is given respect, justly deserved, the minute she enters the courtroom.

 Thanks, A.C.!  I enjoyed representing you — you are a sweet woman and a great parent.

Tags: Divorce, Clients, Lawyer Client Relationship by Michelle
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Dallas Family Lawyer Michelle May O’Neil recently spoke at the State Bar of Texas Marriage Dissolution seminar, held in Galveston, Texas on the topic “We Lost, Now What?”  The presentation, to approximately 250 Texas lawyers addresses presenting a family law case on appeal to the court of appeals.

 To see the article, click here: We Lost, Now What? CLE article 

Tags: Appellate Law, Divorce, Qualifications Of A Lawyer, CLE articles by Michelle
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New case out of the Dallas Court of Appeals… Magness v. Magness, 241 S.W.3d 910 (

Tags: Divorce, Property Division by Michelle
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Divorce can be a complex process that affects just about every aspect of your life, from financial to emotional, physical to legal.  Unless you have been married a short time and have no property, assets or kids, your divorce may be more complicated than you expect.  The central figure in your divorce (besides the obvious you, your spouse and kids) is your lawyer and her staff.  But assembling the best team to assist you through the process can help achieve your goals for the divorce more efficiently.

Financial planners (here’s one) can be useful in helping prepare budgets and examine the cash flow needed after divorce.  Accountants (here’s one) can help with tracing assets for characterizing as community or separate property and valuing business assets.  A therapist can help you with the emotional turmoil of divorce.  A litigation coach can help you navigate the waters of testifying and making strategic decisions.  Sometimes private investigators (check this out) are necessary to discover certain information.  And, forensic computer specialists may be useful to trace information contained on a hard drive.

Experienced family lawyers are familiar with the experts in these fields and can assemble the right team for your case.  If you are in need of a team that specializes in divorce, please contact us.

Tags: Divorce, Financial Planning, Divorce Team by Michelle
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Dallas County was the first county to implement the Standing Order in family law cases. Several other counties have followed their lead. The Standing Order is a set of orders that applies to every divorce (regardless of whether there are children of the marriage) and every suit regarding children (whether or not it is a divorce). I call them “do-right orders” because the main purposes of the orders are:

1. Minimize disruption to the children by ordering each parent to refrain from hiding the child, changing the child’s school or day-care, or saying negative things about the other parent to the child.

2. Preserve the property of the parties by ordering each party not to hide assets, change or deplete accounts, run up debts, open each other’s mail, turn off utilities at the residence of either party, or locking the other party out of the house.

3. Preserve the financial and personal records by ordering both parties to refrain from destroying important records.

4. Maintain insurance by prohibiting cancelation of insurance policies or changing beneficiaries.

5. Generally regulate the conduct of the parties by prohibiting the use of vulgar language, making harassing telephone calls, or threatening the other person.

Most of the orders are behaviors that normal people not in a divorce would know they should not engage in, but during a divorce people sometimes act out.

Nothing about the Standing Order for family law cases prohibits either party from conducting their usual business or occupation, hiring and paying for a lawyer’s services, or spending money or debt on reasonable living expenses.

Prior to adopting this Standing Order, and in counties that do not have a Standing Order, a Court would enter a Mutual Temporary Restraining Order containing the same provisions. (Do not confuse a Mutual Temporary Restraining Order as described with a Protective Order that addresses issues of domestic violence.)

Click here to see a copy of the Dallas County Standing Order 2008

Tags: Divorce, Temporary Orders, Dallas County Local Rules by Michelle
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The New York Times ran an article on February 13, 2008, about the increasing controversy over religion in custody cases. See article here. Increasingly, people of different religions marry and divorce, then disagree over which religion(s) to introduce to the children. Or, tensions can emerge when one parent becomes more fundamentalist in their faith than previously.

As a general rule, a judge will not — and probably cannot — pick one religion over another as preferable. The constitutional freedom of religion that we here in American experience also carries over to custody cases. A judge may decide whether either or both parents have the right to make decisions about the child’s religion while the child is in that parent’s care. Usually, a parent may address religion or religious beliefs with the child while the child is with them during parenting time. But, short of finding some harm to the child from the parent’s religion or beliefs, a judge will probably stay out of the fray.

Tags: Divorce, Child Possession, Children's Issues by Michelle
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In my previous post, I discussed the difficulty in gauging a win or loss in divorce. Most people feel that there are never any winners in any divorce and mostly everyone loses, no matter the outcome. But, there are some ways to make any divorce a little easier.

Approach the divorce from a logical perspective.

It is often the emotion — hurt feeling and unmet expectations — that cause people to have difficult and messy divorces. Obviously, some divorces have issues that must be fleshed out and will be messy out of necessity. But other divorces can be made much easier if both parties can set their emotions aside and approach the issues involved in accomplishing the divorce from a logical perspective. Separate the causes of the divorce — who did what that made the divorce happen — from the issues such as division of property or sharing parenting responsiblities.

Shift your perspective from one of spouses to one of business partners.

You may no longer be able to have a loving, married relationship, but, if you have children, you will continue to be partners well into the future. After the marriage ends, approach your relationship with your ex-spouse as if you were in the business of raising children. Ignore things that do not directly relate to that business and focus on the task at hand. There will be many issues that need your cooperation, from discipline, dating and driving, to report cards, curfews, and colleges.

Educate yourself on your assets and debts.

Knowledge is empowering. No matter whether your marital estate is small or large, negative or positive, knowing the nature of your assets and debts will help you make smart decisions about a fair division. Each spouse may have different interests in what property and debts they have after the divorce. One spouse may value retirement assets more highly, where the other spouse may want disposable cash assets now. One spouse may be more interested in maintaining the house, and the other spouse may be more interested in taking a business interest.

Look at the divorce from the other spouse’s perspectivie.

Evaluate what interests your spouse may have in the divorce. Seeing things from a different perspective can provide a broader insight to creative solutions. Often, by seeing things through the other spouse’s eyes, you find that both have the same ultimate goal. Maybe both share a common goal of providing for the children’s college education — this can provide common ground for negotiation.

For assistance with your divorce in North Texas – Dallas, Collin, Denton, and Tarrant Counties — call The May Firm and schedule an appointment to discuss how we may be of assistance to you.

Tags: Divorce, Clients, Divorce Settlement, Divorce Recovery, Financial Planning by Michelle
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Kanye West, Hip Hop superstar and Grammy winner, gives advice to people wanting to get married: “If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup, WE WANT PRENUP! Yeaah! It’s something that you need to have…” (From “Gold Digger” off of the Late Registration album (Roc-A-Fella/Def Jam 2005)) In other words, he recommends that everyone should get a prenup before getting married.

Jessica Simpson didn’t listen to this advice when she married Nick Lachey without a prenup.

But, Britney Spears did heed the warning. Apparently Britney even staged a fake wedding because Federline hadn’t signed the prenup in time. Britney’s prenup gave K-Fed $250,000 for each year of the marriage, which is rumored to have been increased to $500,000 per year during settlement negotiations.

Some celebrity prenups go far beyond the standard identification of assets owned before the marriage and what each party leaves the marriage with, including clauses like:

* Limiting the wife’s weight to 120 pounds or she must relinquish $100,000 of her separate property.

* Allowing a spouse to perform random drug tests, with financial penalties for positive results.

* Requiring a husband to pay $10,000 each time he is rude to his wife’s parents.

Infidelity clauses are common, where a spouse gets paid if the other is unfaithful. Michael Douglas agreed to pay Catherine Zeta-Jones millions should he stray, and Denise Richards made similar requirements of Charlie Sheen.

Custody of pets is another common concern, especially since most divorce courts will treat the pets like an item of property.

However, prenups are important for almost everyone planning to get married, regardless of celebrity status. A prenup can be as simple as defining who has what at the time of the marriage. It can also address how property acquired during the marriage will be treated upon divorce, which spouse will be responsible for payment of the marital obligations, and how the property will be distributed upon death of one of the spouses.

For assistance with a prenup or marital property agreement, please contact The May Firm for an appointment. But, don’t wait until the last minute, as prenups require plenty of planning and discussion.

Tags: Divorce, Property Division, Divorce Settlement, Financial Planning, Prenuptial Agreements by Michelle
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I’ve written recently on the very important topic of children’s issues in a divorce. Recently, I was pointed to another version of a children’s bill of rights located at DivorceHQ. Remember that this isn’t a “law”, but only guidelines for putting the children first.

We the children of the divorcing parents, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish these Bill Of Rights for all children.

1. The right not to be asked to “choose sides” or be put in a situation where I would have to take sides between my parents.

2. The right to be treated as a person and not as a pawn, possession or a negotiating chip.

3. The right to freely and privately communicate with both parents.

4. The right not to be asked questions by one parent about the other.

5. The right not to be a messenger.

6. The right to express my feelings.

7. The right to adequate visitation with the non-custodial parent which will best serve my needs and wishes.

8. The right to love and have a relationship with both parents without being made to feel guilty.

9. The right not to hear either parent say anything bad about the other.

10. The right to the same educational opportunities and economic support that I would have had if my parents did not divorce.

11. The right to have what is in my best interest protected at all times.

12. The right to maintain my status as a child and not to take on adult responsibilities for the sake of the parent’s well being.

13. The right to request my parents seek appropriate emotional and social support when needed.

14. The right to expect consistent parenting at a time when little in my life seems constant or secure.

15. The right to expect healthy relationship modeling, despite the recent events.

16. The right to expect the utmost support when taking the time and steps needed to secure a healthy adjustment to the current situation.

If you are in need of a Dallas Divorce Lawyer who will help you put your children first, please contact us for an appointment.

Tags: General, Divorce, Children's Issues, Divorce Recovery, Health & Wellbeing by Michelle
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Sometimes one spouse decides the marriage is over before the other spouse accepts the new reality. I find that the attorney acts as a counselor as much as a legal advisor in discussing the break up of the marriage with a client who has not yet accepted the reality of the divorce. Often spouses want to attempt reconciliation instead of getting a divorce. As I have said in previous posts, I always encourage my clients to explore every possibility of reconciliation. However, at some point I also encourage my clients to accept reality that it is just time to move on. People, for whatever reason, often find it difficult to just bluntly state how they feel, resulting in mixed messages — I just can’t decide if I want to reconcile may, in fact, really mean I don’t want to reconcile but I’m too much of a coward to just come right out and say that. I encourage my single friends to read He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt (see excerpt here). Although the content may not be as applicable for married people looking at divorce, the overall message is the same. We deserve to have someone in our life that wants to be there, not someone who says “I might want you if you changed” (or insert other excuse here). After all, as Behrendt sensibly puts it, “if a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way.” Oprah even made it one of her chosen books. To purchase the book from Amazon.com, click here. (No I don’t get anything from recommending this book… just my own personal viewpoint.)

Tags: General, Divorce, Reconciliation, Divorce Recovery, Health & Wellbeing by Michelle
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